There are few things that are better in life than relaxing at home, drinking and watching the football game while gorging yourself on turkey and mashed potatoes. Then, as sure as the hands on a clock, that tryptophan invites his amino acid buddies in and the next think you know there serotonin is hookin’ on the corner double-fisting a beer and a bottle of Jack. Whilst this internal battle between amino acids waged on, your cousin tried to make brownies in an ez-bake oven and the dog is in the back yard chasing an alligator-rat.
You would be amazed the things that you miss when you are in a state of relaxation, but more so, the amazement comes when you realize that you held a full conversation with someone during that ordeal. There are some things that should not be said to family members, I firmly constitute full disclosure amongst immediate family, but your Grandmother doesn’t need to know about your sexual escapades with a girl that you thought was named Susan.
There is nearly an absolute certainty to Spring Break that often gets overlooked when people fly home, go on a road trip, or end up in Cancun. This concept, which has been celebrated publicly for over one hundred years, was originally intended as a religious day of worship, but now has involved into my favorite holiday of the year.
That’s right ladies and gentleman, the root of part of my heritage will be satisfied soon, because Saint Patrick’s Day is less than a week away. As soon as that little rodent came out of his hole at the beginning of February I could already smell the corned beef and cabbage on my plate. I will put the finishing touches on my party plans, head out to the local store to buy the survival supplies and, of course, green food coloring.
Before all of you immediately think that my only plan this weekend is to pour liquor down my throat with a plastic tube, well, I can tell you that its not my only plan! There, of course, are the unforgettable memories that are shared between friends on this great holiday that only comes once a year. You know, those pictures of you with your hand around your buddy and making an embarrassing face, or an obscene gesture.
But, how many days a year can you buy obscene amounts of alcohol, gather together with some of your best friends in the world, consume caloricaly, disgusting amounts of beef, and blame it all on the Roman Catholics? All the while, able to wear a green wig, hats, necklaces and clothing – and not looking like an absolute freak, or the jolly green giant?
That’s right, all of those great things mashed into one big happy bundle of joy. I could not ask for a better holiday, in fact, I would not want to ask for a better holiday!
Saint Patrick’s Day is one of those holidays that you should avoid the eldest members of your family at all costs. You don’t want to be sloppy drunk, wearing your birthday suit and holding a mug of beer in your hands. That’s just not good form my friends, please be sure to keep all of your clothes on, because these are not the types of stories that you want your parents to be telling your kids.
Remember, everyone is Irish on Saint Patrick’s Day!
Most people cherish the moments that they have with their family, and unfortunately, the majority of people that move on with their lives only see the family on the holidays. If you so happen to sticking around home during the holiday, make sure to spend some time with those that you do not get to see too often, and make sure that the next time that you decide to go over your portfolio of Kama Sutra with Grandma, make sure to leave out the nitty-gritty. She does not want to hear that your nickname is “John Wayne” in bed, and that the girl whose name you vaguely remember as Susan wore a pair of leather boots with spurs.
You wouldn’t want to receive a hand-knitted sweater with a picture of a leather saddle on it, would you? Didn’t think so. Keep the sexual innuendos away from Grandma.
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